Summer. It’s the perfect season, and it’s my favorite season. The sun is out, the birds are always singing, and every day has a beautiful cloudless sky. Every day was perfect, and nothing could ruin a single one of them.

At least… that’s what I thought.

Korea was at war with Japan. Every day, the family would be playing outside and we would see Japanese military walking up and down the streets, waiting to shoot anyone that got in their way. Everyone around the neighborhood would retreat into their homes, everyone would cry in fear…

Everyone everywhere felt unsure.

At least our family had the courage to enjoy beautiful summer days while we still had them before winter arrived. My husband was always the brave one, saying that we should live life on the edge to get the slightest bit of enjoyment out of it. He was always happy, always humorous, and the best father any child could ask for. Yup, that was Hyukjae, also known as Eunhyuk as his friends called him. He was definitely the sterling silver to my life (note: Eunhyuk means silver).

It was that one day in the middle of August, that one day where everything was perfect by morning… It wasn’t exactly bad later that day, but it showed clear sign that something horrid was going to happen… and it was going to happen soon.

Hyukjae was playing outside with our boy and girl twins, Donghae and Min. Donghae was running around the yard with a plane in his arms, while Min was busy building a sand castle for her princess doll. Hyukjae was just sitting down with Min, helping her.

I was busy in the kitchen, making lemonade and snacks for the kids and my husband. After I was finished, I came out with a tray full of sandwiches and pitcher along with a few glasses.

“Snacks, everyone!” I yelled. I heard Hyukjae tell our daughter that they should stop playing and eat, while I set up everything. I suddenly felt a pair of muscular arms wrap around my waist, and a head rest on my shoulder. I heard him breathe in deeply.

“You smell good today, honey,” he said in a sweet voice. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck as he embraced me from behind.

“Yah, you two! Not in front of the kids!!” We heard a voice say. Hyukjae’s friend, Donghae, was walking towards us with a military uniform on.

“Hey, Donghae!” Hyukjae said. Our son lifted his head up from his snack, but proceeded when his dad wasn’t calling him in particular.

“Hey Hyuk,” Donghae-Oppa replied quietly, going towards the kids after him and Hyukjae hugged.

“There’s the little princess!” He said, going behind Min and tickling her ears. She giggled as Donghae went over to our son.

“Hey, junior!” Little Donghae could barely talk, due to the sandwich stuffed in his mouth.

“You takin’ care of your sister for me?” The poor four year old only nodded and smiled, taking a sip of lemonade to wash down the bite that muffled him.

“Yup!” He finally said.

“Uncle Donghae, why are you wearing a MoMo uniform?” Min asked in her little cutesy voice. She called all the soldiers ‘MoMo’s’ since she couldn’t say ‘military.’

“Well you two, Uncle Donghae is going to be joining the MoMo’s tomorrow.” The kids weren’t listening as Donghae spoke about himself in the third person, so Hyukjae, Donghae-Oppa and I gathered away from the kids.

“I came to say goodbye… and to deliver some news.” Hyukjae and I both had worried expressions.

“Eunhyuk… they’re recruiting new soldiers, sending letters left and right around this area…”

“What are you trying to say?” Hyukjae asked.

“I’m saying that if I were you… I’d be on the lookout. I just don’t want you to be surprised if you get a letter sometime this week. Sungmin, Siwon and Kyuhyun are all leaving with me tomorrow.” My eyes widened at the names just spoken. Our dearest friends, the people which are children were named after, were leaving for war in less than 24 hours.

And sooner or later… the father of the children would be gone as well.

Three days passed, and everyone pretended nothing ever happened.

That is, everyone besides me.

It was around 3 in the afternoon. The kids were happily playing in the living room with their toys as I was watching them, and Hyukjae was busily working on his laptop. There was a knock at the door, and I answered it, only to find a stained envelope addressed to my husband.

A recruiting notice.

To Whom It May Concern…

                This is a notice saying that every male of the Lee household over the age of 18 must report to the North Korea Recruiting Base at noon tomorrow. You must arrive in full army attire, and force will be used if this notice is not responded to.

I handed the dreadful letter to Hyukjae with tear-filled eyes. He read the letter, and pulled me into a tight embrace. He quickly pulled me into the bedroom, away from Donghae and Min. Hyukjae knew the kids couldn’t see their mother break down and cry.

We sat in the middle of the bedroom as I lightly sobbed on his shoulder. He finally stood me up as he cupped my chin and looked deeply into my eyes with those dark little ‘universes’ (that’s what he called them) that I loved so much.

“Kuri…” He started. “I’ll come back for you.”

“You don’t know that…” Hyukjae smiled at me reassuringly.

“I will survive for you, baby, for Donghae and Min, for that smile that you give me every time I bust a move…” I giggled a little, and his eyes lit up.

“See? You’re smiling already.” We both stayed in the room until I stopped crying.

The next morning wasn’t easy, especially for me. It was around 11am when Min walked into the room sleepily, yawning as she rubbed her eyes. Hyukjae picked her up, giving her a big hug.

“Oof” was what came out of as she was being squeezed to death by her father.

“Daddy…” she started.

“Yes sweetie?”

“Why are you dressed like a MoMo?” Hyukjae let her escape his suffocating arms and held her at his hip.

“Well, you see, Daddy is going to go visit Uncle Donghae for a while.” I stood at the door, watching my husband happily talk to his daughter. It made me smile, seeing how cute they looked. His face all the sudden got a little serious, though Min didn’t notice.

“Take care of your mommy and brother and be a good girl. Tell Donghae I said goodbye, okay?” Hyukjae said, embracing her once more.

“I love you daddy…” The toddler wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I love you too, baby girl. I love you too…” Hyukjae set her down, telling her to go see her brother, whom was sleeping soundly. He walked over to me after assuring that she was gone, and pulled me in a tight and loving embrace. Without hesitation, he pulled me into a passionate kiss. It was the kiss that said everything: I love you, I need you, I want you, I don’t ever want to be away from you, and I want you with me always…

…but I have to go.

I looked at him in the eyes as we pulled apart with watery eyes. He wasn’t having the best time being strong either. A few droplets fell down my cheek as I cupped his with my palm, and he did the same.

“I love you…” we both whispered.

“I’ll write to you, Kuri. You know I will.” He looked into my eyes one last time, went and kissed Donghae goodbye while he was still sleeping, and he was out the door.

I got a letter four days later.

August 19

Dear Kuri,

                Just got on the plane to Japan. The amount of space you get here , and the food at the base is horrible. I had to write this down fast too since I can’t send it to you if I still have it after we take off (duh) and this BABO over here keeps nagging me to ‘finish my work and hurry along so he can take it to the post office.’ I miss your cooking and how good it was to be with everyone. Anyways, Donghae says hi, and so does Siwon and Sungmin (Aish… we couldn’t find Kyuhyun after we were assigned groups). I miss you and the little twerps, but I guess since Korea kicks then I should be getting home soon ^__^ can’t wait to see you when I get back, oh and tell Donghae and Min happy birthday for me, kay? Just figured I’d say that since they turn the big oh-five next week, and they’re party is gonna be empty without their beloved dancing clown daddy haha. Love you.

                                                                                                                                ~Silver Man

The first letter he sends me, I laugh. I sat there reading it while Donghae and Min were playing around in the yard, occasionally coming back to the porch table to get another bite of birthday cake. Ironically, it came on their actual birthday. I wrote back as I watched the kids play out in the yard.

August 25

Dear Silver Man,

                Your letter came in as Donghae and Min were eating their cake. Donghae misses you the most. He keeps asking me when you’re going to come home so you could dance for him haha. The two little twerps said hi, and they miss you the most out of your little passé that you’ve got over there. The bed for me is empty at night since you aren’t there and I’ve had to use that 5 foot tall teddy bear you got me as your replacement just to fill in the space. He’s not nearly as cuddly or as good of a kisser though >.< haha but anyways I know the food may be bad but  I guess if you complain enough then they’ll send me over there along with my friends to cook for you :D

                                                                                                                                Love you Eunhyuk.

                                                                                                                                ~Kuri

September 3

My lovely maiden,

                Wow, that’s ironic how the whole letter thing worked. I hope they had a good birthday, even if Daddy wasn’t there to celebrate with them >.< wait… YAH! BABO TEDDY BEAR STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE! And I know, sweetheart, I’m the best kisser on the planet >:D don’t you forget it!~ Anyways, all of us are in Osaka right now, and our meal options are.. sushi, MORE sushi, sushi with seaweed, sushi without seaweed, sushi with rice, sushi that isn’t really sushi, and that sushi stuff that can kill you. Why do they have that last option there? BTFOM (Beats the outta me!) and I still miss your cooking, honey T~T, but I’m glad you aren’t with us since being away means you’re safe. A couple of our military planes got shot down and a few were injured that weren’t even on the plane. *sigh…* I have to end this letter to you here baby but tell the kids that Daddy misses them and Uncle Donghae says hi.

                                                                                                                                Love,

                                                                                                                                Your Silver Knight.

Things were getting pretty heavy, according to the news. Osaka was being bombed like no other country had ever seen, and I was getting worried like no other husband had ever seen. I wrote back to Hyukjae.

September 25

My brave warrior,

                The kids miss you too, and so do I. I need you here by my side, and I need you now. The town is filled with women, children, and pools of tears from the news that loved ones have been lost, and you know that I don’t want the same news. You’re my one and only, Hyukjae, and I need to see that you’re safe. I can’t come with you, but you have no idea how much I want to. I need to know that my husband is going to come home to his kids, and I need to know that my love over everything is going to come home to his wife. The past month and a half have been dreadful for me, and the kids look out the window to see if you’re coming home. I can’t take it, Hyukjae. I miss you.

                                                                                                                                Your Selfish Wife,

Communication was getting harder and harder. It was nearly a month before I got his reply.

October 20

My dear princess,

                I am safe, and though the heat of battle has come across me, I haven’t had a single bullet wound, or a single wound in general, though I probably should shoot myself in the leg or something like that. Donghae was badly wounded in his leg and his arm (I think), and they’re discharging him since after he recovers then he won’t be able to hold a gun properly. Good idea, ne? Kidding, but Donghae is coming home in about 6 months, with all his limbs (I promise) but he’ll be in a wheel-chair. I told him that when gets back to Korea, to take care of you and the kids. I trust him more than I trust myself, and I think he would at least help with the two little twerps I love so much until I get back ^__^ and Kuri, you’re the most selfless person I’ve ever met. Believe me, I miss you too. I talk about you every day to EVERYONE. I asked Sungmin about an hour ago as we were cleaning our beds saying, ‘ya know, I wonder what Kuri is doing right now. I hope she is thinking of me,’ so don’t worry, kay? Besides, you already proved yourself selfless by sending me your beautiful handwriting on pieces of paper that smell just like you, like home. I miss you honey, more than you would ever know. I am happy that you’re safe.

                                                                                                                                I’ll be with you soon enough.

                Months and months passed as we sent letters back and forth to each other. Everything seemed okay, and I felt in my heart that he would come home. I got a knock on my door one day, to find a very happy Donghae in a wheelchair.

“Kuri!” He said. I forced a smile, and he got concerned.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Hyukjae is still at war, Donghae. I miss him.” He nodded his head in understanding, and I let him in.

“Uncle Donghae!!” a very happy little Donghae yelled as he ran from the living room and into the kitchen where we were talking. He gladly took the little boy in his arms and sat him in his lap. Little Donghae got concerned.

“Why are you in a chair with wheels?” He asked. The older one chuckled.

“Well, I hurt my back and legs so I have to sit in this thingy for a while.” My son nodded his head as a hyper Min came running into the kitchen.

“Uncle Donghae!” She yelled, giving him a hug. After she broke the hug, she looked at him with confusion.

“Uncle Donghae, Daddy said you hurt your arm. Why do you have no bandage thingy?” She asked, tilting her head to the side. He chuckled.

“Daddy got it wrong. I hurt my back, not my arm, but it’s okay. He told me to say hi to you guys and that he misses you and loves you.”

April 2

My queen,

                It’s been so long since I left you and my two little angels. How is everyone? It’s been nearly a year, and I miss you and the kids more than there are dirt stains on my pants (believe me, there’s a lot). I want to come home SOOOO badly, and I want to kiss you one more time. I want to hold the kids in my arms again, and it should all come pretty soon to me. They told me that I would be out of here in about ten months, and the anxiety is killing me D: ugh why does the military have to be so complicated? Oh well, at least I’ve got the the best looking wife around here :D Tell that teddy bear that he still better be backing off or you shall call the military on him if he tries anything >.<

                                                                                                                                                Love you Kuri.

                                                                                                                                                ~Your Silver King

Three more months passed… and I heard a knock at my door. Donghae was already in the kitchen, helping me make lunch, so I didn’t know who it was until I opened the door.

“Hi Siwon-Oppa.” I said. I was actually shocked to see him there, since he was supposed to be in Japan. He looked at me with sad eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, worried. He said nothing, and handed me another letter.

“What’s this?” I opened the folded piece of paper.

My love…

                If you are reading this, then I guess I took my trip home early. I’m with you, I promise, just kinda out of reach. I promised you I would come home to you, and I’m here, but I guess my body is elsewhere. My soul is always with you, Kuri. It’s with you, with Donghae, and with Min. You all are my everything. Your touch always gave me chills, your smile always gave me butterflies in my stomach, even after we were married. I would always ask myself if this were a dream, and if it were, then I wanted to stay in my coma forever. Here I am though, looking over your shoulder, holding on to your waist, even when you can’t feel it. I can still remember the days before I left… the way you dressed with your comfy jeans and t-shirt, the way your hair smelled, the way your embrace felt when you had your arms around me. I can see that you probably want to cry right now; I can see your eyes well up with tears. Don’t. Don’t be sad just because my body isn’t there… be happy because my spirit is always in your heart. Remember me as a good person while I was alive, because my spirit still is... even when my body is not. I’m with you, like I said, just kinda… invisible. Can you feel me, Kuri? Can you feel me wrap my arms around your waist, the sound of me breathe by your ear? I can feel your heart pounding faster as you read more and more, but you need to calm down for me. I love you, more than anything in the world, and I’ll always be here, right next to you, watching over you with a smile on my face.

                                                                                                                                                I’m always with you.

My hands trembled as I read his words… his last words. I calmly walked into the kitchen, on the verge of breaking down on my knees.

“No more jokes, Siwon…” I said in a barely audible voice, looking away. He said nothing.

“Tell me where he is!” I whipped my head around, the tears flowing down my cheeks. I went up to him and kept hitting him on the chest, sobbing lightly.

“Tell me where he’s hiding! This isn’t the time for pranks…” My voice died down as Siwon got a hold of my wrists and hugged me, pulling my head to his chest.

“I’m right here…” I heard someone whisper behind me. I turned around.

No one.

Siwon left after a while, and Donghae followed.

That night, after the kids went to bed, I locked all the doors, sat in my room, and the radio and heard the radio DJ talk. He sounded a lot like Hyukjae.

“Hey everyone it’s station Heaven, the songs that come from angelic voices. Now a song that was just previously recorded in America, check this out.”

I didn’t pay mind to the rap… until it reached the chorus.

“And when I’m gone, just carry on. Don’t mourn, rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice. Just know that… I’m lookin’ down and smiling, and I didn’t feel a thing-.”

“So baby don’t feel my pain, just smile back.” I finished the song, and looked up at the ceiling- no, the heavens.

“I hear you, Silver Man. I know you’re smiling.”